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The High LifeBeing high is an experience that cannot be explained.
You have to take that hit to feel it yourself.
That overwhelming tingling sensation in every cell of your body,
It's like all of you is vibrating lightly.
That loss of control in your mind,
You think of something to say,
And end up saying something else and thinking
"Why can't I form a sentence?"
But on the outside your just giggling.
I would never promote the use of marijuana,
In fact, I hate the shit.
I hate not knowing what my brain will do next,
I hate not being able to control my hands,
Or my words.
I hate feeling like I'm constantly underwater,
Or maybe in a trance,
Like when you just wake up from a deep sleep and you aren't concious yet.
It's kind of like that,
But for hours.
Then when you come off the high,
You wish you were right back on.
You feel tired,
Maybe even a little sick if you were that high.
When you're high,
You have no self control.
What's not to hate about myself.I am not skinny,
I am not tall,
I have acne,
I have a crooked smile.
I'm not always smiling,
And my hair can be a mess,
I'm not always liked,
I'm always stressed.
I have no real friends,
No one to be there for me,
I'm always ignored,
I always get asked to leave.
I'm not cared about,
By anyone else except my family,
Society sees me as a burden,
What's so wrong with me?
People say I'm fat,
I'm a bitch,
I'm a whore,
I'm too short,
I'm a whale,
I'm everything they hate.
So I guess if everyone hates me,
What's not to hate about myself?
I had to say hello.She was guarded, love never was an option. She was the woman alone at the cafe, her hair in a bun with glasses on.
No one bothered to say hello, until one day a young man walked by the cafe window and saw her sitting there, reading a novel in the sunlight. Somehow the light glowed off of her skin in such a way, that he had to say hello.
He turned right around and marched into that cafe and walked right up behind her. But he was frozen, she seemed so confident, so sure of herself sitting there with her mocha. He couldn't muster up the words to say to her, nothing seemed right.
He stood there for a good five minutes, she never noticed because she was so deeply engrossed with her novel.
Finally he felt that confidence she exuded hit him in a big wave.
"Fifteen seconds" he thought, "That's all I need to win her heart."
He sat across from her and looked at her gorgeous face. She was so plainly beautiful that it almost took his breath away. Her cheekbones held high upon her face, and her lip
All I have is silence. You always came back. After every fight, every stressful moment, every time. You always called me to say:
"Baby, I'm sorry. I don't like when we fight." Then we would talk about other things. You always would text me, or apologize. Or maybe forgave my apology when I gave one, which was often.
But this time feels different. It feels wrong.
Because after this fight I didn't get a call.
I didn't get a text.
I didn't get an apology, or forgiveness.
I got silence.
I feel numb. That expression people say "You never know what you have 'till it's gone" is so terribly true to me now.
I miss when you would make me smile, I miss hearing your voice, I miss our funny conversations.
I even miss our constant fighting, I always felt like no matter what we would fight for each other. Because we both cared about the other so m
I'd like to compliment that smile.He threw her away without a care,
Like the way you feel in the summer air,
Not a glance back,
He didn't care and that was a fact.
At first she had nowhere to go,
Her life dragging by so slow,
Then she found a lonely child,
Looking for a purpose or a smile.
She came on in,
Said "Hello my friend"
The child looked around,
But not a soul to be found.
He then saw a woman on the street,
She had confidence in her feet,
He brightened his frown,
And resembled a clown.
"Excuse me miss" He stuttered,
"But I wanted to compliment that smile" his heart fluttered,
The woman blushed,
"Thank you oh so much!"
They walked off together,
As she sat by with her eyes getting wetter,
"Why everyone else, but not me?" She groaned,
She felt she will always be alone.
Truly AloneLoneliness hurts.
I haven't felt truly alone for two whole years and then bam.
I walked alone through the halls, keeping my head down
Trying to hide my puffy eyes,
My red face.
I held my books close, and kept my hood up.
You never realize how alone you are,
Until your crying.
No one talks to you,
No one tries to hug you,
No one even looks at you.
Thats when you know that you have no true friends.
No one there to hold your hand and keep their shoulder open,
Just for your tears.
No one there to tell you its okay.
Thats the day I realized that I was all alone,
And after it was over,
I didn't trust any of my friends the same again.
You're worth so much moreShe was the type
to cut her wrists,
and then swallow the
because looking at what
was even harder
but I want to tell her
to let the emotions
p i l
out of her mouth,
instead of her
and that I'll gladly
let the words slice me,
if it means
I Tear My Skin AwayI Tear My Skin Away
I tear this skin from my body,
Even if the world screams,
That I am only an illusion.
I tear the bones from my legs,
Through pain, I will grow,
Through suffering, I will become.
I rip the muscles from my arms,
These teeth from my jaws...
And with nothing upon me,
I carry on...
Like a broken puppet, still shivering,
Still forcing its way through the darkness;
I tremble for I am nothing...
And yet, I am moving. My voice still screams...
I draw breath into these tired lungs,
As I rip the flesh away...
And I shatter these mirrors before me,
With a voice that will not break:
Because the world cannot label me as nothing,
And I will live for my own sake!
"So tell me, is that all the pain you've got for me?"
A note for people who need a kind wordJust a note,
For anyone who has felt,
Like they have been broken.
Just like an old toy.
Thrown and tossed around like a rag doll.
To anyone who feels,
They re tearing at their seams.
And they re losing all control.
A note to the little girl,
And waited for her mother.
Or her father.
To come back home,
To keep her safe,
While she cried.
Or to at least of said goodbye.
And wishes they d come back and tell her,
A note to the lonely boy.
So quiet and reserved.
Who sits and takes their cruel words.
Thinking it s what he deserved.
To be thrown into lockers,
And thinking he can find something better,
With the company of a razor,
Rather than a human.
Because humans have caused him more hurt,
Than the blades that pierce his skin.
A note to the beautiful girls.
Who walk for miles,
Until they have blisters on their feet.
Because they will not accept the defeat,
Of having to see numbers,
That tell them they are not worthy.
They are not pretty.
And they should not be living.
If they c
You're beautifulPlease eat.
Are you listening to me?
If you are,
I want to tell you.
You re beautiful.
It doesn't matter what you weigh,
you shouldn't feel guilty about what you ate.
It doesn't matter,
I promise you things will get better.
Listen to my words,
Hold my hand.
Don't worry about the rest of the world,
It's okay if they don't understand,
How it feels like,
To feel fat,
To feel ugly,
To feel worthless.
You are none of those things.
It s okay to be chubby,
It s okay to be skinny.
Because you have a big heart.
And your smile,
Is like a priceless work of art.
And I don't want to see you destroy,
Because you're more than just a broken toy.
And to everyone else,
So for once let yourself be,
Accept your reflection.
Because you are the definition of perfection.
So don't worry,
Don't be sorry,
To be who you are.
Because you re,
notes on a matchbook love.if I were the type
to say how I really felt,
I'd tell you that
I hope you choke on your apologies
like they're arsenic
and your nails are already
with the poison.
I'd let you know
that I'll never be a body
for you to touch
just because I know that's all you want.
I'll never be a fairy in a bottle
at your waist.
this is no storybook, and
I am no myth.
hear my silence,
feel the cold absence
respond to your weak "I'm sorry"s.
I beg you,
stop digging the hole,
stop, just stop.
Hush and watch the flames
engulf the image you sold me.
you can tell me
I'm beautiful as much
as you want,
but I know that it's not enough,
that you'll always want more,
that you've been a wolf
between my legs all this time
and my fingers are bruised
from holding the leash.
now every time you whisper
"please be okay",
I will always tell you that
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
I will forever pretend
that I've grown up from you,
that I've become a mystery
What is Hope?Hope is something we have as children,
It helps us thrive and try our hardest.
Hope is what we express in the worst of times
When all hope seems lost.
Hope is what people possess in life
To work toward our dreams.
Hope is a lie
That's not worth our time.
AnxietyAnxiety tapping on my door,
"Can I come inside your head?"
I shiver, not ready for its visit.
It charges in, smelling of worry.
Spends a morning, afternoon and night,
playing with my emotions.
A marionette dancing its old tune on rough strings.
Leaves me winded and praying to beat it the next time.
I Know You're Strong, Let's Be Stronger TogetherI Know You're Strong, Let's Be Stronger Together
if i’m being completely honest,
i can’t say i know what you’re goin’ through.
and if i’m being frank,
i’m sort of afraid to write this
because i’ve always been unsure
if i love too much but it’s my nature
and i’d rather lose by trying too hard
than to do so without doing enough.
i hope you’re asleep now
and i hope you don’t read this
till the morning and i hope by then
things will be a little lighter
but i’m hoping against hope
because if you don’t know,
i feel when things are off.
call it intuition, call it a feelin’,
say i just know it.
my friend, my door is always open
even when you’re feeling closed
off to the world and right there,
i can understand that feeling well,
because i still feel we relate to one another
better than most brothers understand their sisters.
know i look at you as a sibling
and i believe we know when the other
I miss youYou are a ghost in my head
Living, yet you haunt my thoughts today
To speak your name
Would be to desecrate this space
Where you are, I should not care to know
But you are a never-healing wound
An unfulfilled promise
A chance to do no wrong
My memories burn with your taste, your touch, your smell
Who have I become?
Too long have the years been to me
To find myself wishing for the crossroads
For the chance to say no, one more time.
Today.Today I spent my lunch in a bathroom stall.
No one asked where I was.
No one asked if I was okay.
Today, I cried silently.
No one gave me a hug.
No one gave me a tissue.
Today I walked all alone.
No one said hello.
No one even looked at me.
Today I had to endure pain all by myself.
No one would have cared if I died or not.
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More